The Real Petunia
by Ameve
Summary: We have only seen Petunia Dursley through the perspective of one person. We don't know her motives, only what she says. But if she hated Harry so much, why did she take him in?


The Real Petunia

By Ameve-chan

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

A/N: This is something that was published on my other account; I'm currently trying to consolidate all of my internet accounts. It was originally published 02-03-03. Enjoy.

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Lily and Petunia Evans sat on an overstuffed couch in her sitting room drinking tea and planning. They were happily discussing the joint wedding they were going to have in four months. Petunia was going on about color arrangements and Lily was remaining unusually quiet. Finally, Lily put down her tea and looked Petunia in the eye. Petunia stopped babbling when she saw how serious her baby sister was. Lily then averted her eyes to the coffee table in front of her.

"Petunia, I can't have this wedding with you," the red-head said.

"What? I don't understand, are you mad at me Lils?" Petunia questioned, unable to comprehend her sister's reasoning,

"I can't have a joint wedding with you because I don't like you Petunia. James doesn't like you either and he thinks that we should have separate weddings," Lily said slowly as she stood up.

Petunia was speechless and her jaw just hung open. She didn't understand at first, her sister was so close to her, they did everything together. They wanted to have joint weddings since they were ten, Petunia even put her wedding off for four years to accommodate Lily. But when Lily said 'James doesn't like you either', Petunia knew this was his idea. She knew that that bastard of a wizard was making her sister do this.

Petunia watched as her sister walked out the door without ever looking back. That bastard did this. That _**wizard**_.

Petunia was hurt and alone now. She couldn't tell Vernon everything, he didn't understand her. Lily did though, but now Lily was gone, hated her, and it was all that wizard's fault. Wizards were bad, they made you do bad things and hurt the people you love and who love you. Petunia just sat in the sitting room crying and cursing all wizards.

Lily Evans walked out the door quickly and didn't turn around. Petunia couldn't see her tears, she had to believe that it was all real. If she didn't, the blonde could get killed and Lily wouldn't stand for it. She walked out to the black car at the end of the road and watched her fiancée, James Potter, step out of the car with a sympathetic look. Lily ran into his chest and he wrapped his arms around her and let her cry into his shirt.

"Shh, Lily, you had to do it, It was for Petunia's own good," he comforted in a soothing voice. He rubbed circles on her back. When Lily didn't answer he just continued. "You had to sever all ties or else Voldemort would have found her and killed her. If you told her what was happening, she still try to contact you. You had to deceive her, You had to Lils, you had to." Lily pushed away from him and glared at him.

"I just had to tell my sister I hated her and never wanted to see her again," the seething witch hissed. "I don't fucking give a damn if I had to do it or not, the point is that I did it and I will never forgive myself for it! Screw the right thing to do, I just want my fucking sister."

She collapsed into tears after her little speech and James helped her into the car. She cried the entire five hours back to her apartment and even longer after that. She hated herself for what she did and she knew that it would affect her relationship with James. She cried until her throat was hoarse and she had no more tears left in her. She then dry-sobbed until she fell asleep.

Three Years Later

Petunia dropped the letter in horror. No, it couldn't be true. Her sister wasn't dead. Lily was alive, they're wrong damn it! No. Petunia crumbled to a heap on the floor and stared at the young boy before her in disbelief. This was little Lily's son, this boy who looked barely anything like her sister. The baby woke and slowly opened it's small eyes.

Petunia gasped when she looked into those innocent eyes. They were Lily's eyes, a deep emerald green. Lily's eyes tainted by that man's face, the face of the first man to take Lily away from her. Petunia couldn't stand to look at this boy any longer, he was a reminder of Lily's betrayal and death, a symbol of wounds that would not, could not, ever fully heal.

Petunia was lost on how to feel, who to hate that night. Lily had betrayed her, but Lily was still Petunia's baby sister and now she's dead. Petunia could only draw one conclusion from the sea of thoughts, wizards were bad. They took away her baby sister twice. They made her leave her family, then killed her. They were bad and this little boy would never become one, not if she could help it. Petunia owed Lily that much.

The blonde decided to take a vow, she would do whatever was within her power to stop this child from practicing magic. She would protect him from that world, she'd save him from himself. She could only do that with Vernon's help and he would only help if Petunia pretended to hate this child too. It wouldn't be hard, she'd just have to forget the green eyes and focus on the other features, _**his**_ features. She could hate _**him**_, but not her sister's son. She would love this little boy, this Harry, until the day that she died.

Petunia raised her head with a look of sad determination before leaning forward and planting a kiss on the cooing baby's forehead, the boy giggled in response, making Petunia love him all the more.

"I want you to know that I love you, Harry," the blonde whispered into his soft black hair before kissing him again on the top of his head. She pulled her head back and moved a stray lock of hair out of the staring child's eyes. Her finger grazed the lightning scar and gently traced it before returning to his hair.

"No matter what I may say or do in the future, I will always love you," she added and planted one last kiss on the child's forehead, a single tear slipped out and rolled down her cheek. Slowly at first, then faster. When it reached her chin it dropped onto the curious baby's cheek.

Petunia then stood up and wiped her eyes. She sniffled a little then took a deep breath before screaming. As she listened to Vernon crash about in an attempt to aid his wife in whatever her problem was, she looked down at the green-eyed child before her. She mouthed an "I'm sorry" at the child as her husband slid to a stop beside her and inquired as to what was wrong. 'I'm doing this for you Harry,' she thought. 'I won't ever let you be like that man, never.'

Petunia explained that her "stupid" sister got herself killed and stuck them with their kid. Vernon was, as expected, furious. He kept going on about irresponsible weirdos who go around sticking children on decent folk's porches. Petunia just nodded her head and remained silent until Vernon went to work.

When he was gone, she went over to Harry and picked him up. She carried the sleeping child into her bedroom where she lied down on the bed with Harry held protectively in her arms. She snuggled him like a teddy bear and kissed the top of his head and watched him as he yawned and wrapped his chubby little hand around her thumb. Her eyes welled up in tears when she realized that this little boy would never be able to know the extent of her love for him and she hugged him tighter in some vain attempt to keep him with her longer.

She took a deep breath to keep from crying, but the tears came anyway. Her lithe body racked with sobs as she held the baby tight to her chest and cried herself to sleep.

END

AN: This is just some ideas I had about Petunia's view on the whole thing with her sister's death, Voldemort and Harry. If she really hated magic and her sister all that much, she would've just sent Harry to an orphanage. Just my idea on why she didn't.


End file.
